The Chef

I dream of seeing my grandchildren's accomplishments

The main reason I am so passionate about photography is its documentary dimension. Technology advancement has made it so easy: we are able to preserve the ‘here and now” and save it for the next generations at the press of a few buttons. The easiness of the entire process gives us an even bigger moral obligation to do so; after all, these fleeting moments can document history stages and civilisation progress in ways we could never think of at the time of the events happening. But in years to come, our photographs will document ways of life that will be forever lost. One of my biggest regrets is that even if I owned a camera since I was 6, it has never occurred to me to take more photos of my grandparents and their farm. I was too busy being a child and then a self-centred teenager. The way we lived in those years will never be brought back and the farm is long gone.

I have always appreciated the way both our parents protected me and my sister from the realities of living in the 80s in the Communist Romania. But I also appreciate a frank conversation about it now. It is an important part of my life, although I was too young to realise how hard it was for them to hide their insecurities and keep going.

This is a very personal and highly emotional post for me. It is about an ordinary woman with a remarkable, extraordinary existence. A woman with a lot of common sense who made her own way through life. I am privileged to call her MUM.
She lives thousands and thousands of miles away so I decided to take advantage of her visit and document her life story for my children. She feels the happiest when she cooks for us; so I asked her to make plum dumplings (a Romanian traditional dessert) and to be my sitter in this project. It was an interesting feeling, interviewing my own mother. But her words are full of meaning:

“I am an ordinary 63yo woman, coming from a different part of the world – from a very beautiful country called Romania. I was born in a beautiful village where two cultures have been blending along the years. On one side, we had the Romanian culture, on the other, the Transylvanian Saxons - I learned a lot from both. In the 50s, society didn’t ask much of a girl: some education (usually high-school), get married and have children. Naturally, observing my mother, the first dream that I can remember as a little girl was to have my own house and be a great housekeeper. 

When I was little, my favourite book was “Childhood Memories”, because it depicted the perfect childhood on the country side – very much like my own. I had an extremely beautiful childhood with everything a kid can wish for. The scenery of my village is still breath taking and I remember vividly our adventures when my sister and I climbed trees, picked wild flowers or when we played cops and vagrants. I don’t think there ever was a tree in the school yard that didn’t “know” me. One of my fondest memories is dad’s payday: he always bought us a chocolate on his payday. And the size of the chocolate got bigger as my father’s pay check increased. 

I always wanted to look after the others, although I wasn’t really prepared for it. Coming out of high school, my dreams were simple: I wanted to get married to a nice man and to look after our own family. I wasn’t actively looking for him; it happened through a joke, really. A phone call made to pass time resulted in meeting my future husband. We agreed on the phone to meet but we didn’t know how the other one looked. I was told he would be in his officer uniform, holding a Tehnium magazine in his hand. When I arrived, there were two officers with Tehnium magazines – both good looking but one was tall, one short. I was hoping he would be the tall one but in the end, I was in for a lifetime of heels height adjustment. 
I always knew I was made to be a wife and a mother. But I wasn’t ready for it, when I started. In my early years I was a terrible cook and it took time and practice to become good at it. One time, I remember I mistook the baking soda for vanilla sugar and I poured a hefty amount into the rhubarb compote I was making. I didn’t realise it until my daughters complained about the strange taste. There was nothing else to do but poke fun at myself and the entire situation so I pulled a joke; I told them that if they stay in the sun, they’ll raise and grow, just like the bread. I was secretly worried about them having tummy pains but this is how you go through life – any failure turns into a good joke. One grows and learns and when looking back, there will be many stories to tell.

Slowly but surely I have learned a lot about everything: cooking, household and children. Once I got more experience, I found the courage to take on different menus and the complexity got higher and higher. I am very ambitious and when I get something in my head, I get it done. My kids used to joke about my cooking so I told myself that I can do it; that if I wanted I could achieve Master Chef cooking – level. So I did. I started cooking and I enjoyed more and more. It became a life style. I feel the best in my kitchen – it’s my sanctuary. I feel the happiest when I achieve what I wanted. Seeing the pleasure on my family and friend’s faces when I present them with my culinary creations cannot be compared to anything – I don’t know a greatest happiness than that.

Who I am now? I am an accomplished woman: I had lots of achievements; I had failures too. I have a good heart – this kept me going in my toughest moments. Without false modesty, I like who I have become.

My biggest dream is to have my entire family together, even if just for a few days. We are all scattered in two opposite sides of the world and no matter which side I am, there is this feeling within me like the thespian masks: one side of me is happy, the other side cries. When I am here, I miss the ones I left home. When I am home, I miss my Australian family. So I keep travelling, to be able to spend time with my grandchildren and my children.

Another of my dreams was that I would become a lovable old lady, to have enough money and travel a lot. Money is not that much but the travels – oh, boy! I got to go to the other end of the world.

I never had a particular role model; I never felt the desire to imitate anyone. I just wanted to be myself and learn from my own trials and errors. I made my own way, building on my own experience. There was one person I looked up to: my auntie Maria – she was a very simple country woman but extremely hard working, intelligent and giving. She used to say “I haven’t got any education but I know how to look after myself”.
My favourite character ever is Scarlett O’Hara – she is a strong woman and I learned from her that tomorrow is another day and that it is not worth stressing for the things one cannot control.

Life hasn’t always been peaches and cream; when I was 27 I found myself looking after two young children and after my parents who were both very ill. My mother suffered a stroke and was left with a hemiparesis. My father came down with cancer soon after.

It wasn’t easy – living in the 80s in the Communist Romania had its challenges. I didn’t have any of the facilities we see today – we didn’t have feeding chairs, disposable nappies – we used cloth nappies that had to be washed, disinfected and ironed. I didn’t have a washing machine and sometimes there were weeks without hot water; I had to warm up the water on the stove and wash by hands.

Food was rationalised and you could only buy it with special cards: you would get 1 kilo of sugar, 1 litre of oil and 1 kilo of flour per month per person in a family. They ticked it off when you bought your ratio; if you lost your card, they would issue you a new one but you had to go without for that month. Meat was hard to get by too; but I always found ways of looking after my family.

In the end it was a matter of who knows whom and bribing the store keepers. My co-workers nicknamed me Mrs Satchel – I always seemed to be buying and carrying things home. My kids used to joke about “hunger marching” when I was doing the preparations for winter. But I was the happiest when I had enough food to put on the table and they didn't feel the pinch.  

Every end of fall I would go to the farmer markets and buy large amount of fruit and vege and make my own preserves, jams and pickles. Money was never a problem – we just had to find the places where the produce was. 

If I had to be granted the ultimate dream it would be this: to see my grandchildren’s accomplishments. But only God knows if I will – he decides where, how and when we all go”. 

The Strategist

"I want to live a happy and meaningful life"

 Elias Hallaj is well-known in Canberra’s social media circles and political scene. If you follow the #Canberra twitter hashtag you have probably come across his tweets sharing Canberra sunsets and trying to link people from different networks.

I was very glad to meet him in person when he answered my call for people to get involved in the “Hat of Many Dreams” project. It turned out, he is a man of many calls and he is juggling quite a few hats any given day: A Canberra lover, always ready to showcase its vibrant culture, activities and special nature spots. A passionate food connoisseur, running his own blog focused on affordable food. A witty and very spot-on political observer and mediator. A hands-on dad and a dedicated family man. 
He proudly – yet modestly - describes himself as “a father, husband and happy employee of the Labor Party”.
During our conversations, I was amazed how effortlessly he seemed to connect everything and “navigate” through subjects with ease, how naturally he could multitask.

As a person who spends lots of time writing, I always enjoy when I find someone who appreciates semantics as much as I do. Elias is a great interlocutor and we enjoyed a quick talk about the word “dream” and its possible meanings. We agreed to use “aspiration”, in his case, as he doesn’t consider himself much of a dreamer but rather an amused observer.

His house is full of love: 5 daughters, 2 dogs and a wife who he sees as a role model, his best sounding board and counsel. When I asked Elias what is his biggest aspiration, his answer didn’t come as a total surprise. Yet it is probably the best answer I have got to date: “I want to live a happy and meaningful life. I think I already am living this life. Yet I am trying every day to look at the ways to make it more meaningful and to induce this into my daughters’ upbringing as well. I consider myself lucky to be whom I am and to be where I am; my appreciation and love for my family keeps me going, as well as our values”.

I asked Elias if he ever had any regrets. "I try not to have any regrets but I do sometimes wish I knew as much about life, people and politics when I was 15 as I do now. I like to keep my inner child alive, it is important to have that bit of yourself alive, especially when parenting, but also in everyday life situations”.

As a migrant myself, I never try profiling; yet I cannot help but find fascinating the stories and experiences of other people when it comes to culture fusion.
Elias and his parents moved to Australia when he was only 2. His father and mother were his first role models and he considers himself an equal product of Lebanese heritage and Australian upbringing; “I appreciate both my wog and bogan influences and cherish both. When we moved, I wasn’t speaking English. By the time I finished primary school, I was a big reader and I remember going to the local Library regularly. I particularly enjoyed Asterix and Tin Tin books.
Coming out of High School, I had already signed up to be an engineer in the RAAF in Year 11 and was awarded an officer cadet scholarship to go to ADFA after finishing year 12”.

Although he finished a mechanical engineering degree Elias has developed a different career path. He had various part-time jobs at university and became involved with the Students Union and Young Labor, he also worked for the students’ paper. Aptly named “Tharunka” (Message Stick), the newspaper opened his appetite for politics and soon Elias found himself regularly volunteering for the NSW branch of the Labor Party. Before moving to Canberra he had already worked for two MPs and a Union as a Publications and Training Officer.
“Politics can be addictive – few other occupations give you a greater insight into such a range of human emotions on a daily basis. When you win election campaigns it’s euphoria, when you lose, it feels like someone died”.
Elias enjoys working behind the scenes and when I asked how he would use those hypothetical 15 minutes of fame, his answer came naturally: “I would love to tell more people why they should vote for progressive policies and support democratic change”. In fact, his current position within the Labor Party does exactly that: promotes Labor values and focuses on training programs, including overseas and international development.

Elias feels mostly at home during his walks along Ginninderra Creek and West Belconnen. I was fortunate enough to accompany him in one of his early morning walks . His love for the local culture shows, as he naturally – and proudly – showcases the beauty of the walking trails, as well as the cultural heritage. I was very grateful to learn both about the Latham Stepping Stones and the Umbagong Park Grinding Stones, which has a history going back thousands of years to the Aboriginal times. He took the time to explain to me the meaning of the name. The recent rains raised the usual water level and we couldn’t see the grooves very well.
“Can you imagine how happy and content a family would have been in this beautiful landscape when they used to live here thousands of years ago?” he asked. And we did. Within our imagination, we could see it for a few minutes: a simple life on the edge of a river, co-existing peacefully with mother nature.

Elias is also known for his food appreciation, shown on his blog, CBR Foodie. “The blog has a funny background story – I started it to learn how to use WordPress and it sort of developed a life of its own. I’d like to spend more time on it but have too many other distractions and am lucky to post once or twice a month. I do much more on twitter and Facebook as I find they are more immediate conduits for sharing”.

The food appreciation shows even in the smallest details: one of the things I have learned about Elias is that he likes to make his own hummus from scratch. I make my own too but I only used chickpeas cans, I have never really boiled the chickpeas. So naturally, I wanted to explore the subject of comfort food - is there certain nostalgia when one prepares a specific type of food? Does it make one happy; does it make one think of something specific? Why do we all have a particular dish that we love so much because it brings loving memories?
“Mum is a fantastic cook and her tabbouleh is unbeatable. When I do find the time, I like to explore food experiences. I think much of modern food culture is quite unnatural and commercially-motivated. I learnt at a young age that it’s much more important who you share a meal with than what or where you eat. You can have the best dinner in the world for less than $15 if it’s with someone you care about and whose company you enjoy”.

 

 

 

The Healer

"My dream is to become the nurse that I want my family and loved ones to have"!

“Call me Nurse Emma”! The radiant smile, the diploma in Nursing and the kind, beautiful blue eyes are not enough for me to detail the importance of this moment. I feel privileged that I am part of it. It’s impossible not to love Emma: she has the biggest heart and she is always there to offer a hand, always smiling, always compassionate and optimistic, despite life’s many turns.

 

As a young woman coming out of school, Emma trained hard and joined the Navy when she was only 21. She worked hard preparing for deployments, doing active service in countries at the opposite end of the world. One her most special memories is being part of the ANZAC Ceremony in Jordan.

“Train how you fight, fight how you train” – it’s how her generation was taught. She remembers a particular moment when her training kicked in, while tasked to find a merchant ship crew member in the red sea.

 

After a 6 month deployment in the Middle East, Emma was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, at only 24. She remembers that time as a particularly hectic year and she considers herself fortunate that she had her mother’s support during this trying time. “Wherever mum and my birds are, that is home to me”.

She is also grateful for the special bond she shares with her Navy fellows, remembering how the sailors from HMAS Harman drove her to and fro, between her home and the hospital to receive treatment. “I didn’t know any of them, but the true Navy spirit prevailed. The hospital contacted the department and then they all organised the transport”.

Emma has been 4 years in the clear now and she is looking forward to next year, when she will be considered effectively cured and she will able to donate blood – something she always wanted to do, to help those in need.

The career switch from Able Seaman to Nurse doesn’t come as a surprise for anyone who really knows Emma. “As a little kid, ever since I can remember, I wanted to be a vet. Coming out of high school, I wanted to be a nurse. I have always felt a sense of duty or service - whether it be to my community or country. Nursing is very similar to Navy, in many ways: one works in shifts at the oddest hours, you always have to think on your feet, always being part of a team that has to keep everyone’s best interests at heart. Human medicine is so interesting. And as a nurse, I feel that I am in a rare and very privileged position – you look after a person when they are at their most vulnerable moments and you are there to help them. I remember that during one of my placements, a gentleman asked me – How do you cure depression? – He was upset about dying. It was a simple question with a complex answer and it affected me a lot; I wanted to do more for him. I couldn’t cure his depression and being a student I couldn’t do much. But I could talk to him. And I mentioned his feelings in his clinical notes, in order to get him the support he needed. We discovered a common bond too – he was an ex-Navy man too.

To Emma, life is about being selfless. This reflects not only in her career choices but also in her involvement with the wildlife rescue. There is no greater joy for her than when she is successful in rescuing animals in distress and then releasing them again in their habitat. I was lucky enough to even witness one of the rescues, when a Galah bird was trapped inside the front side of a car.
Some days are sad, like when she had to attend to 2 cockatoos – none of them made it. But some others are filled with immense delight, at the sight of the rescued little critters thriving while in her care. “Take Arlo, for example. He was really lucky. He is so little; it really was his lucky day. He got bitten by a dog – his skull and the bottom jaw were perforated – it’s a wonder he is still alive. But he has recovered really well. I have been able to successfully release him recently. I first had to wait for him to have a successful shed, to make sure there were no complications and that he was ready to be released in the wildlife”.

I asked Emma if – hypothetically – she had those 15 minutes of fame, how would she use it?  She didn’t hesitate for a second: “– I don’t like fame, but I think I'd advocate for flying foxes. I’d try and show the world that they're not disease-ridden vermin but incredibly smart animals that are key components of our environment.”

In her childhood, Emma looked up to Hayley Lewis as her role model - this was at around the time of the 1992 Barcelona Olympic Games. Nowadays, she doesn’t have a specific role model – she gets inspired daily by the people around her: “I use bits and pieces of people who I admire and aspire to be like them".

There were times when Emma doubted herself and had a sense of failure for having to hit 'restart' on her career and moving home again. But every way I look at it, I see a winner and a role model for people of her generation. A very capable young woman, determined to follow all her dreams.  She has recently started to work as an Enrolled Nurse and I am sure that this is just the beginning of a great career.

“My biggest dream is to become the nurse that I want my family and loved ones to have: confident in my abilities, compassionate, professional, highly skilled, an advocate for my patients”.
I also want to further my scuba diving experience and become a dive master. I want to marry and have kids. I dream of a nice property where I can look after and rehabilitate critters. Where do i see myself in 5 years? I'd love to keep being a nurse (whether it's EN or RN), I'd love to become a dive master, continue doing wildlife rescue/rehab whether it be in Canberra or elsewhere.  I’d also LOVE to find Mr. Awesome and somehow I’d like to become an advocate for young adults going through cancer”.

 

 

The Inquisitive Man

"I want to be a lots of things. I can be anything I want!"

"This is called a beam and beams are used in constructions. I am making a house and I am adding the finishing touches".
One of the things I like about Master George is his eloquence. When he meets someone new, he introduces himself and then he is able to carry out an entire conversation – one doesn’t even have to try hard to interest this 3yo in having a chat.

“When I grow up, I can be anything I want. I want to be lots of things. But first, I think I want to be a fire fighter because it’s hard work. Then I am going to be a builder because I want to build houses and fix things. And I want to drive diggers and construction machines. I love big cranes, graders and excavators. I want to be a truck driver and a gardener and I want to be a teacher like Mr McCoy. I can’t speak Spanish but I speak excavator. I want to be a photographer too, but only when I have time from my driving because I might be tired from all that hard work”.

His personality is already quite complex, hinting at the man he is going to be: there is the pensive George, the cheeky one, the humorous, the caring, the clever and above all, the inquisitive. There aren’t a lot of “whys” during a typical day with George. His favourite question is “How does this work?”
How does an engine run? What makes it go? How do the wheels spin? How does the light turn on? What is electricity – how does it get through to the toaster? How did the Fire Engine at the Museum melt? How is the rain made? These are just a few of the question you might expect if you cross paths with this amazing little man.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



The Leader

"I dream of making Belconnen the best place I can".

“When a woman is talking to you, listen to what she says with her eyes” – it’s one of Victor Hugo’s most popular quotes for the simple and powerful truth it harbours.



And Tara’s eyes certainly tell tons of stories. She is a natural-born leader and she draws attention pretty quickly when she enters a room.  Her presence is imposing without her even trying and we had a quick debate whether it’s due to her charisma or to her red hair, which quickly became her Canberran presence trade mark. I personally think it’s both – and particularly the charisma. But Tara confessed that the red hair contributed a great deal to her self-confidence and to defining her public persona.

I ask everyone the same question: “Who are you”?

It is a simple, 3-word question which may seem confronting for the simple reason that we are facing ourselves, in a mirror exercise, taking down any self-protective or social masks we may have, denuding our souls to ourselves and find an honest answer.

“Who I am now is a tricky question! I think you've seen that I'm many different people. I'm a boss, and I'm bossed around. I think I naturally take leadership positions. I'd like to be a politician; I hope I can be the best politician for this area. I think asking the public to vote for me and to accept me as their representative is a pretty big innermost dream that I've now had to come clean with”!

 “My earliest memory of wanting to 'be something' was probably during Grade 2, I think. I said I wanted to be a nurse and I remember telling that to my father. He said that I didn't just have to stop at being a nurse, that I could be a doctor; if I put my mind to it, I could be anything. When I was leaving high school I thought I wanted to be a journalist. I think I wanted to be a politician but I was scared to admit it, so I thought that being a journalist was a good match for my skills at the time”.

The one really important thing that Tara wants to achieve is for people to recognize that she made Belconnen better while she was a member. The first initiative that she would like to take as a politician is to improve the policies around waste in the ACT.

Through these portrait series, I am trying to get a true glimpse of my sitters and in the midst of all the hats they juggle at any given day, the “hat of many dreams” is meant to find a dimension where they are themselves, comfortable and unguarded from the social clichés or expectations.

Tara feels most at home when she is out bushwalking on her own (with a dog!). “There's something about the self-reliance of it all - even when I'm just a few hundred meters from houses” – she confesses.

So we set the stage for our portrait in one of the most peaceful places around: the grasslands in the suburban fringe, just before sunset, when the whole world prepares to rest.

Incidentally, it is also the only place I know where one gets photo bombed by kangaroos.
If you would like to find more about Tara, you can read her amazing posts on her blog, In the Taratory
 

 

 

 

 

A Hat of Many Dreams

You meet someone in the crowd wearing same hat. Who wears it best, you wonder? And you might even alternate a couple of hats, depending on mood, style or season.
But what happens when a hat "wears" the persons?
This is an invitation to dream: what is inspiring you? How do you see yourself when you are wearing the "hat of many dreams?"
Nowadays everyone is a story teller; in the rush for sensational, we tend to forget that ordinary people make the best stories. This is my favourite hat ever. I started this series with my own family and our innermost self-projections but I intend to extend the project, take my hat around, ask people about their dreams, get their eyes off their phones and uncover their stories. Ultimately, this is about connecting with each other; a tale of individuals and of identity.

While digital photography is now quite an established art, my project aims to be a social experiment, combining interview, documentary & portrait photography and possibly sound. What we are looking at is a cross over with a very acute problem we all have - feeling socially disconnected and inadequate while being so virtually connected.

We are juggling quite a few hats during any given day. Some instances we are who we need to be and not necessarily what defines our core. We wear various social masks, we guard our beliefs and our inner sanctum. So much so that it can be confronting to answer honestly an initial question "who are you?"; to think about who we are, who we wanted to be and who we have become. 

Making a portrait for each of my sitters involves more than just pressing the shutter release of my camera. I look at it more as an act of building the portrait together; it is collaboration through our interaction, as opposed to a selfie or taking a photo through an automatic photo booth. The result – their portrait – is a combination of my images and their words, both equally important in defining them. I aim to explore further this connection between the artist and the sitter; by dedicating the time to listen and capture their dream.

I draw on my photographic abilities and also on my reportage and storytelling skills to engage with my audience. In most cases, I know very little about them until the time of the sitting.

I aim to capture my sitters’ true self, expressing emotions through the power of images, using minimal props and my ability to read body language and facial expressions.

Their stories are approached from two perspectives: as an artist, I pay attention to aesthetics. I take the time to study their physiognomy and the surroundings in order to create strong images. As a member of the same community, I am genuinely interested in getting to know the people around me and connect with them.  

I draw on my own multicultural background; prompting them to share the uniqueness of their dream and what makes them distinctive.

My project is a tale of individuality and identity but it also reflects cultural, social and contemporary snippets by matching the individuals with the role they play in their community. For instance, “The Leader” is the portrait of an aspiring politician. ‘The Healer” is a nurse and wild life volunteer.

The sitters have the key of the entire project, as ultimately they are the only ones who truly know how honest they were in their answers. My role is to engage them and try to capture what I think it's their essence, the way it emerges from our discussion. It mightn't seem challenging but consider this: it took a person quite a few years of life to become who they are; yet I will endeavour to uncover and detail their personality in minutes. 

As for me, what I am truly hoping to achieve with this project is the one thing that defines me as an artist: finding the stories that need to be told. Connecting and getting the others to reconnect as well. 

I would dearly love to get back on the saddle so to speak and do more artwork, find that spark again, do my dreaming and inspire the others to do that too.

If you are interested to have your portrait taken in this series, please contact me.